Monday, September 17, 2012

The Ups and Downs of Dating with a Disability (and a Dog)

For about a year, I've been in a place where I felt that I was finally able to devote time and attention to a relationship.  Even with the unknowns in my illnesses, I had finally settled in to my new life and my pump was doing its job.  I quickly realized that meeting a guy while I was out wasn't so easy since many only see my disability, not me.  I joined some online dating websites, both paid and free, and put myself out there.
I did opt to explain that I use a wheelchair and am partnered with a service dog on my profile so there was no confusion.  I had less luck on the paid site:  it seemed that either the conversation fizzled out or they were many states away.  Long distance might be feasible for some but that kind of travel can be difficult for me and with Jude getting ready to be eligible for points, I'll be traveling in the nearby states to show him.
That doesn't mean my luck was all good on the free site.  I found that it seemed many guys skimmed my profile rather than read it all, even the About Me section.  We would have a great conversation going and plans to meet up when I reminded them that I do have a service dog and sometimes rely on a wheelchair.  Suddenly they disappeared, seemingly in to Internet thin air.  Ok, I knew they didn't vanish, they just blocked me.  I will admit, that irritated me.  If you aren't up for dating me when I remind you of my disability (which prominently features in the profile they claimed to have read), fine.  But at least have the balls to tell me so.
Fortunately there are guys on the other side of the fence.  They see that I have a service dog and a disability and realize that it doesn't define me.  They accept it as a part of me, accept that I have a canine partner with me and continue to learn about what else makes me tick.  I'm not currently dating anyone but things are looking up.  I plan to make this more of a continuing series so eventually there will be an update.

2 comments:

  1. Good luck with the dating, I met my now husband on a dating site online, admittedly I didn't know I had CRPS then... there are a few good people out there enjoy :)

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  2. I have been wondering about dating again, i find my crps is a real hinderance, i used to be quite confident and outgoing but gradually i have become shy introverted and need to get out more. my crps is a hinderance, but if i am not quick then so will my age as i'm now 35 lol.

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